19th January 2016 - Surgical Bra Anyone?

Hmmmm that's attractive, welcome to my new lovely lingerie post op. Can't complain though as these are generously donated by Berlei along with a 50% off voucher for a second one. Given I am to live in it 24/7 I think I'll need it. I'm a bit excited about the Pilates DVD, I like a good stretch!
smile emoticon I am excited about my pilates dvd for post op exercises. I don't mind a good stretch program!

18th January, 2016 - The Girls Were Out for Good Cause!

I have to share how funny yesterday was. Sunday was our Trail Riding Club's first sign on day and beach ride for horses and riders. I was on Nonna duty while Kiah and Luke had some well deserved fun. A few ladies there knew my news, and as people heard us talking others heard, and more heard so eventually everyone knew. Our club has always been a huge supporter of the Girls Night In PINK fundraisers, and I'm forever banging on about getting your boobs checked, I thought, righto... let's use this as a lesson in detecting a lump in your breast!. So I handed Miss Lilly back to her mum and dad, and spent the morning running around all the ladies there asking "Have you felt my booby yet" It was soooo funny. At first they were a bit hesitant, though some were rather enthusiastic, some were worried about hurting me (there's no pain) and all the while I'm there encouraging to push harder, move up and down. Anyone going past, not know what was going on would have had mind boggling thoughts. It was interesting the number of ladies who couldn't find it easily or thought it was different to what they thought it would feel like. I wish someone would have taken a photo! The one above is from our clubs Girls Night In 2013 bush and beach theme. I hadn't meant for my girls to be so "out and proud" Guess it just goes to show that I am always at the ready for a good cause!

17th January 2016 - Hello, My Name is Conflicted

CRAP. I had a really long post here about being conflicted on choices. Now I have to start again. I think that's the universe's way of "keep it simple Donne" So I shall. I'm conflicted. I'm conflicted that I have always tried to be an advocate for natural therapies. I have prided myself on being educated on my own health issues, and dealing with them in a natural way first, and then call in the big guns second. But I am leaving this to science. For now. I want to concentrate on the surgery, see what we're dealing with and then I want to use science to treat it afterwards and nature to heal what science hurts. My conflict is that I worry that those who live a true natural life, may scoff at my choice. I also feel that the medical experts may scoff at natural support I ask about and suggest. My conflict is that I'm trying to please those whose opinions I respect, and I'm more concerned with that, than my own peace of mind. I had a brilliant chat today with a very wise woman. When I related a story to her (that had nothing to do with this) about a situation that was bothering me that was not my own, her words to me were "And that's your problem because?" And she's right. My old "people pleasing" issues are well and truly at the forefront here. (LOL those closest too me will be chuckling and saying "Donna, they never left") So I need to stick to what I want to do. That will give me peace and the strength to do this.

"You are doomed to make choices. This is life's greatest paradox."
Wayne Dyer

January 16th, 2016 - The Day After I Went "Public" With My News on Facebook

It's a new day, and I sit here reading through the messages and comments and I have happy tears running down my cheeks. I really wasn't sure what people would think about me, "telling all and sundry" about my news. Would I appear to being a big ol' drama queen? Would it look like I was driving a big ol' pity train? And I'll be the first to admit that hitting that "enter" key to post, caused quite a few butterflies in my stomach to resemble a stampede of a big ol' herd of elephants. But this morning, on the new day, I am overwhelmed by the kindest of words, your offers of support, and your confirmation that this is the right thing for me to do. I'm not used to being the one to accept support. I'm the one who does that for others, so this is a humbling experience for me. AND they've taken away my lovely menopause support tablets... This is going to get messy for you lot LOL. I'm off for a drive this afternoon to play with some moo cows. It's nice to connect back to the earth.

15th January 2016 - We Have A Date - World Cancer Day

WE HAVE A SURGERY DATE!!! And oh lordy what a date. My surgery will be February 4th, combine that with my oldest/youngest best friend's 50th, well I'm just going to take this as awesome omens. Today I started telling people. It still feels a bit surreal to say, "I have breast cancer" but it also starts to feel a bit more normal?? Weird I know. Today is a good day. The plan is more complete. And I've managed an extra long weekend for Australia Day, so I think some time away with Rick will do us good before shit gets really real. So positive vibes for good weather that weekend. I would love to head up to Wathumba.

14th January 2016 - Welcome to Your Breast Cancer

So this is my Welcome to Cancer pack as I like to call it. The pillow and the redish book "a guide to early breast cancer" was from Megan my lovely breast care nurse today. I showed Rick the pillow and said what do you make of this... he didn't let me down "A hat, a brooch, a pterodactyl" - Fans of the movie Flying High will appreciate that. Anyway, the kit comes from BCNA (Breast Cancer Network Australia). I ordered it myself and it looks really good. If you have anyone diagnosed with breast cancer, get them to go on the BCNA website and order it. So today was a good day. I had a bowen therapy session with the lovely Bonita yesterday and I woke up free of headache and feeling amazing. Hard to believe that this time tomorrow it will be one week since the diagnosis. There's one last thing I have to face tomorrow and that's telling my oldest and dearest friend Heather. If you've decided to read through this Heather, leaving you out of the loop has been the hardest thing to do. But you needed this time away with your family after the year you've had. And we've got plenty of time to catch up and have coffees and bitch about the world, and the stupid people in it, so I know you'll forgive me. xxx

11th January 2016 Update We Have A Plan

Okay, so we have a plan in place. After losing my shit this morning and feeling very angry and frustrated I got to work and we were able to get an urgent appointment with the local booby specialist due to a cancellation at the end of his clinic at the hospital. I feel so much calmer now. I feel more in control. I don't do this patient thing very well. I'm used to being in control and sorting things out for others. Not the other way around. So this is the plan. I will have a wide excision around the cancer area. Firstly, to be absolutely accurate on the morning of the surgery they will insert a guide wire that will basically be "X marks the spot" Then surgery will be later in the afternoon. They'll remove a good margin around the cancer site, and they will also remove the sentinel nodes. This is a new way of dealing with the lymph glands to avoid the complications seen when they've been removed in the past. They've found out that the cancer cells have to pass through several lines of the defense and the first line is these little sentinel dudes. So by removing them they can determine if there is any cancer in them and if not, then the cancer cant be further up. So we're all sweet. I'll have an overnight stay (gee i better invest in some pajamas) and then home the next day. Pathology comes back after 1 to 2 weeks and then radium treatment begins. I also have a chat tomorrow to my breast cancer nurse. That will also help improve my coping techniques which probably not include pitching the soap across the room and just missing the mirror. smile emoticon Onward and upward!